In my own journey of health and wellness, I noticed that the thoughts and behaviors of others were dictating my happiness. We often allow others to have too much power in our life decisions. You only live one life, and you alone have the power to dictate your own happiness without considering the opinions of others.

Other People’s Opinions May Not Benefit Your Happiness

To dictate your own happiness means that you must disregard people’s opinions and only give credence to what’s in your best interest. If you’ve been on this earth for awhile, you’ve determined that people have all kinds of opinions developed from their own personal experiences. Depending on the types of people whom you surround yourself with, they may believe their opinions are the key to everyone’s happiness. Some may even speak ill of your life decisions and aggressively push you to act on their opinions. Just remember, no one has the same life experiences, and what may work for some may not work for others. My strategy with dealing with aggressive opinion givers, “oh okay, thanks for the advice.” In my head I’m thinking, “whatever, I’ll do my own research.”

Disregard Disparaging Criticism

We all have received constructive criticism from our jobs or in our family life, which is quite normal. However, disparaging criticism used only to diminish your self-esteem is difficult to handle. The most important thing I have learned is to continue being myself and have the mind set that people’s problems with me are none of my business.

Dictating Your Own Happiness

Recently, I was shaking my azz in a dance fitness class, and I saw one of the other attendees mocking my dance moves. Dance fitness is a serious hobby of mine because it is my therapeutic outlet. I feel safe and at peace when I dance. The group exercise environment is usually a space for me to forget about daily stressors and to focus on my physical and emotional well-being. She didn’t know that I saw her mocking me, but I realized her behavior was an indicator of her character and not mine. I refuse to change the way I move because this ol’ hoe bag thought mocking and laughing at me was the highlight of the moment. My response…I smiled and danced harder. In the end, I was there for myself, not for some stank azz twat who has no control over my happiness. I have to maintain my happiness, not some stranger with character flaws.

Dictate Your Own Happiness By Changing Social Media Habits

The social media craze has everyone depressed because it seems that the people with whom you associate with on social media have better lives than you, as told through their photographs posted on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Some people share when they’ve graduated from college, pictures of their baby showers, their weddings, or even when they get a new fancy outfit. There is nothing wrong with doing these things. I live hundreds of miles from family and often use social media to stay in touch and to show that I’m happy and still alive.

Social media can prevent you from being happy because you’re so engulfed in other people’s happiness. Obsessively scrolling social media to see whether your pal is having the time of her life on vacation with her new boyfriend, or what Instagram model has a bigger azz is just a distraction from your own happiness.

When I found myself getting distracted from really living my life and being happy in my own way, I stopped following everyone on Facebook. If you didn’t know, you can maintain your “friendships” on Facebook without seeing their posts. Of course exceptions were made for immediate family, but I no longer see other people’s posts and it has been less distracting for me.

Dictate Your Own Happiness
Photo by Victor Freitas on

Lasting Thoughts

Dictating your own happiness means that you  must act in your own best interest. It means that you must love yourself enough to ignore bullshyt opinions that don’t work for your life goals. Dictating your happiness means that you just don’t give a flying shyt about what other people think about you. It’s okay to be happy for others, but it’s also acceptable for you to have power over your own happiness.

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